Not every dating app or site is going to work for people who are in this stage of life. I would know—I personally tested every major dating app and website on the market and dating few niche ones, too to find the best dating sites and apps for those of us who are over For anyone else who's here with me in this life stage, ahead is a detailed guide breaking down my experience using sites apps as a single woman in her 40s and my top picks.
I wanted to pair my observations from the past and present, along with those from others, to see how they lined up.
Dating some, I found some parallel, but for others, I clearly had a different experience than some of my peers—which was quite alright, as "dating" mileage may absolutely vary see more using these apps.
I also tested 40+ that were new to me or even outside of my general area of interest with an honest eye of why someone may or may not enjoy them. Match is a popular dating site known for its emphasis on serious relationships. The app has been in the game 40+ nearly 30 years and boasts 39 million users, and its unique algorithm helps you find matches based on the kind of people you swipe yes or no on. This is an app for serious daters that is potentially worth it, if you want to use premium features and go to in-person events.
Events I saw included speed 40+, food tasting, happy hour, and even a surfing event for a reduced cost for subscribers that are local to the area. All nurse patient said, it takes a long time to set up your profile, so I was hoping for better matches read more it than what I personally found.
Notably, the users are generally older and more conservative. In general, though, Match is not for people wanting hookups or to waste time. This is for folks who want to invest time and money into finding a dedicated and specific relationship. OkCupid is a dating app seeking to connect folks through quizzes, curated matches, super likes, and personalized decisions.
If you're dating for the specificity of 40+ at a fraction of the cost, you may want to consider OkCupid. Not only are there literally hundreds of questions to answer on everything from what kinds of relationships you're looking for to lifestyle preferences to politics and beliefs, but the free version still gives you a lot of capabilities within the app.
Plus, all your questions help the app make compatibility scores with other users, so you can message people you'll already have things in common with. As sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph. Its compatibility ratings are really helpful in helping to understand a potential date before you even meet them. Like almost every other app on this list, they are a swipe-based dating app which operates on folks swiping through profiles and pictures for potential connections.
Users can skip ahead to try to get noticed by matches by writing an intro to potential interests. This will put those matches in a separate but freely accessible spot where folks can get notified of those matches without organically finding them by simply swiping them. My OkCupid experience "dating" twofold. I used OkCupid in its previous iteration before it turned into the swipe-based app that it is now. I really enjoyed the longer profiles and responses I got when I previously used the 40+, but my account was deleted due to inactivity.
Jumping back onto the app now in its sites stage was interesting; it still had some of the elements I really enjoyed dating the previous iteration. Quizzes still dominate the experience, which serves as a fun way to get the whole thing going again.
I remembered answering hundreds of questions before and am currently only at about 30 or so. One pet peeve: You are automatically shared in other Match groups that you may not be interested in. OkCupid is free to use, though there are upgrades that can be purchased for even more features and filters.
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Hinge is for relationships. The swipe-based app has question prompts that folks can fill in answers with text or audio to complete. Folks can also interact with video prompts on their profiles as well as after matching. You can get really specific with what you are seeking by paying extra for the premium service, but a free account will allow you to put the 40+ such as your sexuality, gender, job, education, religious beliefs, hometown, dating intentions, and political leaning for free.
As a note, per the pros and cons, there are limited options with political beliefs, and you may not find sites on there if you are outside of main party affiliations. I actually am friends with one of them despite things not working out as they were really mature. On the other end, last year I met a scammer on this site who ruined my experience with Hinge completely. The person lied on the app about where they were from, and oh so much more.
It was a really terrible experience that made me pause dating for about half a year. I know that that is not the totality of the experience for others, but that was mine. Source a more positive reference, a friend of mine in her 30s had a completely opposite experience and ended up marrying someone within a year of meeting someone on Hinge. Experiences vary, and perhaps I just ran into a really, really bad one. Hinge has a solid free version that works well.
OK, we 40+ to include this one in here—because who are we to assume that just because you're 40 means you want a serious relationship? Sites going out on casual dates or finding hookups is more of what you're looking for right now, you may just want to try Tinder. And FWIW, it's not impossible to find love or even marriage on this app. Some patience may be required with so many users to swipe which can be a good and bad thingbut as online dating coach Perri Schneider tells mbg, "I find with my clients that it's still widely used, which can be helpful if you're not in a city and live in a more remote area," she says.
Granted, I have met some folks who just straight up lied to get a hookup or attempted to get a few hookups when I was traveling, but that could be on any dating app really. I feel like this is a bit like the Los Angeles or New York of dating apps, so to speak.
While I know that there are folks that have found long-term relationships, Tinder is good for casual dating and getting yourself back out there after a bit of sites. Tinder's free version has everything you need to swipe, match, and chat. Bumble puts the control in the hands of the woman user, who gets to pick who she wants to talk to.
40+ she matches with someone, she will have a limited amount of time to message the person. The other person will then be able to respond in 24 hours before the match is closed. Of course, depending on your preferences, you may view that as a pro or a con, but if men making the first move for the past 40 years hasn't been working, it might be time to try sites new approach.
Excluding one encounter with a person who turned rude and hostile after I canceled a date, I had some pleasant conversations with a few people on Bumble, including someone with different politics than me who was actually quite friendly and nice. To be honest, I personally prefer to be messaged first.
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I actually haven't had much luck on Bumble. I did end up messaging a few people on Bumble to get out of my comfort zone. Liz experienced similar. That said, Dating know that other users have had better experiences on the app, including the boost to self-esteem regardless of the outcome of matches. After a few months of this, I decided to try out sites newfound confidence and ability dating put myself out there 40+ other parts of my life.
To that end, the app really is about empowering women to dating their inner and outer awesome to help flip the script on the dating scene. Bumble is free to use, or you can purchase premium memberships for additional features, including advanced filters, travel mode, the ability to see who has liked you already, extended time with your matches, the ability to get spotlighted, and much more.
Premium accounts vary from as short as a week to an entire lifetime subscription. Dating as a single parent comes with its own set of challenges, and you may want to connect with other dating who can relate—or at least won't be put off by the fact that you have children.
Enter Stir sites, a dating app designed specifically for single parents. While 40+ do not have to be single parents, most folks on the app are. Profiles look similar to profiles on Match which owns Stir and allow folks to see similarities in location, age, and other parameters. She met a partner who she dated briefly with the app. The person had messaged her and came up in her matches.
She has her own children and 40+ on get-togethers with the person she met on Stir with their kids. They arranged hangouts that worked for their schedules and allowed their kids to hang out while they conversed. Stir premium accounts vary from as short as a week to a six-month subscription.
Premium features include knowing who likes you, the ability to message before you match, the ability to control who can see your profile, free Superlikes weekly, knowing when your messages are read, and the ability to "boost" your profile to potentially expand your chances to meet people.
Christian Mingle is a dating site aimed at people of various denominations of Christian faiths, and it boasts sites 15 million users. Folks can discuss how often they go to church, their religious preferences, and what they are seeking. It also gauges factors like education and interests so you can find a well-rounded match. Colier highly encourages taking advantage of dating sites that make finding what you're looking for easy, and if it's finding a Christian partner, this is definitely your best bet.
There are also similar dating apps for other religions, such as JDate and Salamsdepending on your faith. Since I was raised Catholic but am not anymoreI decided 40+ give the app a look for myself. I had gone to churches when I had been abroad traveling last year, so I do have a connection to religion, even if it is not what I currently view as something for my personal targets.
I composed my profile like I would guess my conservative family would enjoy: complete with pictures of me in churches saying that I wanted a God-fearing person with similar values. I received several heartfelt messages from folks who wanted to connect.
Even without me having a personal connection to religion in the same way, I can absolutely see why folks would see value in this particular app. Matches talked to me about their values in vulnerable and personal ways, tying them back to their commitment to their faith. These are folks looking for long-term commitments not hookups who are being served in this app.
La Vette is a different kind of dating app. In fact, it is the only app on this list that is not a swipe-based dating system. You can also meet singles through their message boards or fun, interactive events, which sites you access to folks you might not have naturally connected to. The onboarding experience had a little bit of a learning curve because the app is so different. It is best viewed on a "sites" or laptop computer. The community is also very small currently, with only about users as of this writing.
The event I attended was really fun though: It began as a chat and then changed to breakout rooms, where I was paired with random folks to discuss items in the main discussion for a couple of minutes.
I had a couple of fun and delightful one on one chats as well as a small group chat with folks attending to discuss various dating things. It was a bit like a virtual speed dating session without dating to leave my house, which I really enjoyed on 335 hookup hotshot levels. I can dating promise sites using this app for an extended period of time even outside of dating purposes.
The crowd was a bit older with several people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.