Does age matter?
I n certain corners of the internet, few topics arouse as much rage as that of relationships difference people of significantly different ages. The argument goes that age gaps reflect an imbalance of power and therefore leave dating people open to coercion or abuse. The older partner is usually characterised here predatory; the younger partner as having been taken advantage of, even if they are well into their early twenties. The fact that the couple had difference happily married for 15 years was not sufficient to stop online scolds from law Miranda that he was, in fact, a victim of grooming.
More recently, Americans have been debating the ethics of age differences after an episode involving vague age of consensual go here between a congressional candidate and college instructor, and university students.
Age the law part, the anti-age gap sentiment comes from a sincere desire to safeguard vulnerable people.
Most viewed
But, however well-intentioned, it often tips over into an ugly puritanism. This is particularly troubling when it concerns relationships between queer men, given the stereotypes about predatory gay men it plays into. The rhetoric often sounds like the hoariest old here, repackaged for a progressive audience.
This is complicated by the fact that much of the criticism comes from within the queer community itself — but queer people are not immune to being sanctimonious.
Despite the liberal gloss, these arguments have some deeply reactionary precedents. In the UK, the notion that young gay men lack the agency to consent was central to the campaign against equalising the age of consent, both inwhen it was lowered to 18, andwhen parity was finally achieved. Most young teenagers are not vulnerable to such attentions; but some are. While I resent playing into this, it does feel relevant to say that I have experienced violence from men my own dating. A prescriptive, one-size-fits-all rule between consenting adults cannot work because it ignores the complexities of desire.
On this page
We are drawn towards those who are more confident or charismatic than we are. Obsessing over which age gaps are acceptable occludes the wider range of contexts in which abuse https://search-by-image.info/dating-site-reviews.php. We should listen to people when their agency is being thwarted by someone else, when they tell us they have been treated badly.
We can find something distasteful or see more contemptible, without it being unjust or immoral. This article is more than 4 years old.
Moralising about relationships between consenting adults has dangerous precedents
James Greig. Online storms over age gaps between partners have become depressingly common. Reuse this content. Most viewed.