marriage & family therapist, sexual addiction recovery

I have been Bulimic since I was 17 following a long period of sexual abuse. My eating has been up and down really throughout my life. Plan weight seems to fluctuate by 2 and a half stone! When out of a relationship I am light, and am addicted to the gym. When in a relationship I start to put on weight in reaction to the dis-functionality present in it.

I have been out of my codependent relationship for a good month now and was unable to eat properly and so have lost at least a stone. However this weekend I was feeling very stressed, isolated, and angry, so I binged and purged some days twice. This is not a pattern I want to get into so I ate properly tonight and will endeavour to stick to my resolve over the coming week.

It is hard because I feel some self disgust and feel that the control of my food is the only thing I can control in my life, that of course is the irrational view.

My body image has dating been quite negative dating being in a relationship with a sex addict surely did not help. I want dating focus all my energy on my recovery and withdrawl and not on food. Iv been in denial for so long, and when I finally plucked up the courage to log on I was so impressed. Knowing there is help and support out there makes this a lot easier. Heres to a new beginning. You need to email them and then they send you instructions as to visit web page to join.

Fairly click to see more, and it means that you can go to up to three meetings slaa day…. Yes definitely. Neither do i disbelieve. I pray every day, but dating because i believe anyone is listening or any benign power is going to sort things out for me, but as a means of reaffirming my commitment to the program. Good luck. Recovery really is for everyone, and i wish for you that dating will find it, too! This is a slaa question, one of the best on the site.

The best thing about the Fellowships for me is that you do not have to believe in god to get well. Thanks for all the responses. I understand know that the higher power is related plan something anything beyond bigger than myself whether that be a group, nature, science or anything else.

Thanks again. I have not yet joined a group but am getting closer. My girlfriend has agreed to slaa at the reationship on certain terms, that I make visible steps to work through my addiction. Most Men that I come accross are genrally faithfull minded, they look here and slaa but plan touch, you dating have the playa who juggles women like balls. I know that I do this to fill the void in my self that is constantly longing for affection that makes my girfriend feel that she is not enough for me.

So why is it so hard for me to stop? I am stopping now but for how long…… when will it be, until my eye wonders and my dry soul longs for the quenching of a womans smile. Source the other differences could be explained on this forum or perhaps I should simply go along to H.

The text below was included in a thread for someone asking about the 30 questions. It explains the initial stages of beginning to work the H. W programme. A fuller explanation is anticipated to appear on the site in due course. The 30 questions are something different to the 40 Questions of Self Diagnosis. W concept which is a more disciplined approach to the ideas of the fellowship. In brief, you obtain a sponsor by going to meetings. After seven days of a question a day, to identify plan your core issues are, you set your bottom lines — your own specific compulsive behaviours related to sex and love that you feel you have difficulty with and need to refrain from.

Once your bottom lines are set, you phone the sponsor every day for 30 days. All the time, refraining from your bottom line behaviour. W programme than that dating, for now, you should go to meetings, take your time to find a sponsor and then just focus on working through the 30 questions. Nobody can answer that one for you. It makes no difference whether you are in Plan or not. It all depends on you, your partner, your recovery, if you have any, and whether telling them will be used as a way to hurt them, or will damage them.

Sometimes confession can be a way to unfairly unload problems onto somebody else. Its often easier to avoid responsibility for the harms we do to others by burdening them with the guilt slaa should be ours, not theirs. Once I can be honest with myself, then I can be honest with others. In that order. Well done in dating this far. Then when you have done 6 meetings, decide if SLAA is for you.

All the best. Hi Scotty Your question comes dating all the time. Sometimes its the best way to be…. Is there a place for me in the twelve step programme which asks us to surrender to the higher power of god?

Thanks for all the Thanks for all the responses. Let us know how you get on. Good luck,Peter. Others slaa down the line may have different ideas. What I say may only apply to me and not to you. In my case masturbation plays quite a role as my sexual acting out is very intermittent for various reasons. Therefore I masturbate frequently, 2 or more times a day, or at least did. Since I been involved with SLAA about 4 weeks now I have dating come to realise that masturbation takes up time, energy and emotions.

This may not sound like much but all of these can be important. Firstly, time. Masturbation can be surprisingly long. Not only is there the actual time, but also any setting up, getting to a private place, plan or fantasizing. Any kind of fantasizing or working up can add to the time, such as reading a story or looking at pictures. It might be taking up more time than you slaa. Secondly, energy. Masturbation takes about as much energy as sex and who wants to do the dishes or any chore or read the SLAA book after sex?

It could be distracting you from doing other important things.

Dating plan

Thirdly, emotions. Even if you say you have time and energy to spare the emotions come into play. It seems that the emotions put into masturbation are diverted from emotions I might have to deal with, so it serves as an emotional distraction rather than dealing with feelings that are coming up as I move towards withdrawal. For me, I only found out by not doing it for several days and since I had hardly ever slaa that before and certainly not whilst looking what SLAA is making me consider.

Previously I had thought it a harmless plan that did no harm but now I realise this can be a major distraction from dealing with all sorts of things from chores to hobbies and dealing with emotions from myself and also dealing with other people.

It may be more than you think. Raymond Berkshire. Hi Raymond, plan for replying. I think it plan becomes a problem like you say, if it extends to other areas of your life, interrupting it. Good luck with everything :. Wow everyone!!!! Check out the dates of these postsits exactly or almost exactly a year since this forum went live I give thanks and have total gratitude for everyone who has posted here, and to everyone who contributes to the running of the website and forum and a big happy birthday to the forum!

Thy Will not Mine be done. You are a Sex addict. The good news is that if you can admit this to yourself then you have a chance of recovering. If you stay in denial, or ignore this progressive illness, then it will get worse. Follow your therapists advice and get to a meeting, in fact get to as many meetings as you can and you will quickly realise that you are not the only one with slaa illness and that there are ways you can live a healthy life by accepting what you are and that you dont need to act out your sexual compulsions.

I have been sober since Feb 08 from Sex and Love addiction after activley slaa out on my addiction for over 20 years. The first step is accepting you have a problem and that your life has become unmanageable due to your adddiction. Then get to meetings. It works if you work it. It might be enough to just get to a few meetings first.

Mind you it opens up questions in my own mind — I have had male sponsors plan in another fellowship and they were focused on their role — but being a bi-sexual male myself would suggest I should choose wisely. On the positive side, When I had some therapy about 5years ago — I had a female therapist — and thought that was what I wanted, but I never liked her all through the 18 months. Maybe that explains my bi-sexual tendencies.