Hello friend, Re-upping 'cause I got some new stuff that you might need to fuck. Let's see. I don't know if this is because it's no longer and nobody blogs anymore or what, but I'm bloody well gonna take it because fuck you Anyway, I know you don't come here just for super out-of-date title references to horrible pop groups from the s and the occasional post where I actually try to do a good jobbut also for the fabulous sex toys I frequently toss your way, like a common Mr.
Monopoly, but one who is tossing sex toys Do not google. It is really bad, as well as "you." I'm gonna list what I've got. If something strikes your fancy, or whatever you're calling it these days, drop me a line jillhamilton gmail. To your door, I say! You can even pick a few if you want and fill a krush. Don't be too greedy though and pick like 20 things. I hate that. One time I had a garage sale and told a customer they could pay what they wanted.
They took a shit ton of stuff and gave me a nickel. Pay xoxo shipping. I wish so hard that I could just send it you, but I write a free blog. If you give me a onlyfans, I will come to your house and punch you. I'm not even joking.
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If y'all don't take it, I'm gonna have one hell of a slide n' slide, I suppose. If you want to just buy something straight from the companies and leave me out of it, click on the link and IBWMW gets a wee cut. OnlyFans, for example, suggested I could make "millions" through them. I shall assess the market for viewing the behind the scenes footage of a 55 year old woman who is doomscrolling, writing crap articles for cash or hiding in the bathroom every few days for a joyless, hurried wank.
But sometimes lock down feels a tad No Exit. I was looking though the Amazon list of stuff y'all weirdos bought and someone ordered a copy of " You I Fucked Frosty " a book whose title is its own spoiler. This snowballed sans fuckery, alas into me trudging around through the ancient backwaters of the blog. It's weird to read myself of the past, maybe it will be for you too. I do hope that this post marked my personal max for using the word "clit," a word I fervently wish had an alternative.
Anyway, step into my time machine with me you Might want to wear a helmet. There are a lot of loose clits flying about. And PS, it gets pretty krush gross in here today.
As you may recall, I am against the cutting of one's sexual organs--up to and including fannies--in order to look like all of the other Sneetches, and this vid let me stay comfortably within my cozy worldview.
Go have a look if you'd like --it's free. A caveat: cover your eyes during the highly graphic surgery scene. Slabs of skin cut off!
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To wit: 1. Became concerned with how said vag slabs are disposed of. You can't just toss 'em in the trash, right?
Compost pile? Surely it's not e-waste. Which reminded me of The Mystery of the Possibly Missing Clit and jeannehospod 's snarky Twitter answer: " check jeans pocket " which gave me the unsettling image of a linty clit in a jeans pocket.
Making it even worse, she continued, " Cleaning the lint catcher on the dryer should prevent that. All the moles dermatologists cut off and how there is someone working at a lab somewhere who walks into work and is confronted with a bunch of little packets containing tiny little moles that they must cheerfully examine.
But I digress. Anyway, today when I was xoxo at the Perfect Vagina site, I learned that the reasons xoxo labioplasty include this: some women complain more info I mean, to be uncomfortable on a bike, they'd have to be So big you don't need any padding on your seat? I mean, if they're "can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow" size, hell, maybe I am supportive of a little nip you tuck.
Now unclear on my labial worldview. Leave me alone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, SSssssssssaaaaaantaaaaa, oh God, yes! The holiday season is coming up which means it's you to start thinking about Wordpress dating free download, particularly how sexy it would be to have him pull down his velvety red pants then slowly slide his snowy white pubes against your throbbing center.
Because, yes, a Santa fetish is a real thing. A Santa fetish can involve being fucked by Santa, or alternately, being Santa and fucking others. Today, for example, on porn site xnxx there are videos tagged with the word "Santa. Though at this point I'm pretty sure that someone somewhere is probably jerking off to the thought of a medical waste bin chockful of removed, oh god, never mind, I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
In case you're thinking it's just porn-obsessed dirty pervs with the Santa fetish, sensitive literate folk get hot for Santa fuckery as well.
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Plenty more. The fantasies flashed in her mind like movie trailers of the oft-repeated nights she lay in bed at night, thighs wide, fingering her clit while rubbing a wig or other such prop against her inner legs as if to replicate the feel of facial hair, a beard Santa's beard.
She'd thought of the things he'd do to her, of the pleasure he would bring, but krush but - "It's happening, Sara," he promised with a soft, belly-shaking chuckle. Maybe it has something to do with the usual erotica tropes--the straining nipples, bucking hips and the like coupled with the Santa-y references to jolliness, his "silky soft beard," and that "soft, belly-shaking chuckle.
Maybe it's the overseas "Lexapro" talking, but I'm reading a recent translation of the Kama Sutra and discovered some Ancient Krush to pass on to you:. So you krush seen this, but only sorta. As the writer of a sex onlyfans that lots of people still read xoxo though I only write a new post every 87 months serbian dating sites so, I have amassed a metric fuckton of sex toys. So many, in fact, that despite my valiant efforts, I've been unable to have sexual relations with all of them.
That's where you come in. Perhaps a toy or two would cheer you up? A brief respite of hedonism is a fine way to forget about the everything for a few blessed moments. Here's a basic idea what I have busting out of my cabinet right now. So, without further ado, except this sentence of ado that I just added, I currently have:. I gots lube is the point.
Our beloved friends:
If you're feeling it, I can send you something specific or onlyfans can tell me what you're into and I can put a box together and ship it Priority Mail. You can email me for more details or if you want personalized suggestions or something. That's all. I wrote a post! But still. Good talking onlyfans you. Anyway today, my friend, you get two out of three of those things because 1.
That's where you come in, gentle reader. Here's what you do. "Xoxo" me which toy s you wish to fuck.