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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody. Hi all, Dating am relatively new to Mumsnet and I am really enjoying exploring the forum and learning about the Mumsnet world. Unemployed have recently started online dating after a really when romantic disappointment at the beginning of the year.

I am 31, never married, no DC. I am very career-oriented and have built a good career for unemployed. I really value my financial stability and the independence and security that having savings gives me. Recently I have been out on a date with a man whom I found attractive and funny, and we had a really good time. However, he seems to have an unstable work situation, he used to work as a football coach and he is currently "between gigs".

Essentially it didn't sound like he had a plan about learn more here things back on dating with his job. He has been "between gigs" for 8 months dating classified. He also doesn't seem to be very comfortable financially, which is unsurprising given that he is essentially unemployed.

A friend of mine told me that she thinks that based on this information, this man does not seem very compatible with me, as I am someone who values work, planning, and financial stability a lot unemployed is true. In the past, I lent a lot of money to an ex-boyfriend who was struggling financially and in the end he didn't treat me very nicely at all and didn't give me the money back when he suddenly broke up with me and disappeared we are talking several thousand pounds. I think she is concerned that I might find myself in the position of being taken advantage of financially by a boyfriend again.

I feel a bit conflicted about this guy, as I enjoyed spending time with him and I did find him attractive. He seems like a nice person. At the same time, I wonder if I should take my friend's advice to heart, be a bit more careful and "throw this one back into the pond".

What do you guys think? Would you date someone who is professionally unstable or unemployed, if you were someone who values career progression and financial stability?

Or would it be a big red flag for you? Minimum expectations would be a job, unemployed some determination to succeed, in what ever area they determined suitable. I wouldn't. I married a man who was low paid and over the years begrudged constantly giving him money when he was skint.

It was also tough when we had our Dating and we really struggled with childcare fees. Because of his financial status, it meant that we could only have one child.

His current situation may not be reflective unemployed his past or his values. What if your job had been a victim of Covid and you had been unemployed since April or so? It would mean you are simply one of the millions of unlucky workers who have been affected by Covid. So I would not decide now based on so little information. Red flag, not to be mean but money is undoubtedly important and if you are not on the same page does not sound as if you're in the same book What happens when you want to go on holiday, buy a property etc.

It's not even about the earning power its about the lack of drive or forward thinking. My partner earns less than me but he has a work ethic, I've supported him during periods of unemployment as a result of redundancy as I know he will look to be back working, if I felt he was just lolling about that would not cut it for me.

Definitely not although I did in my younger days. Btw, I am talking all my long-term relationships from my 20s as well as a marriage and none of them are working apart from cash in hand type odd jobs to this day.

I married a man who is unemployed, he is the step father of my children. For us it works. I get to focus all my attention on work and studies, he does the bulk of the household chores, running unemployed children around etc. I only entertained the idea as he is solvent and we share attitudes to financial goals - saving and spending.

The money I earn is now household money. If he spent money like water, or had debt then it would be a hard no. Just to qualify, if this is purely related to Covid then maybe there's some context but otherwise it's a no from me.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences. Not a good prospect. What is he currently living when Where does he live? Has he tried to pivot during Covid? Maybe he received the government's self-employed grant and is waiting it out.

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You could continue, but proceed cautiously. Don't fall into when role of paying for things. Definitely don't let him move in. If by March he hasn't bounced back a bit from Covid, then he might not have the work ethic and ambition that you deserve in a partner.

If it were not for the prior history of lending to ex arsehole I would say proceed tinder on hookup lines caution just take it as a bit of fun, nothing serious. But given you found yourself in a compromising position with the last ex, lending him money I dont think it would be wise to put yourself in a situation where some of the variables are so similar.

Incase he turns out to be more of the same and incase your boundaries still arent good with that sort of thing. Geberally no, but PlanDeRaccordement does raise a really good point - this year isn't the best to judge on employment factors, when I'd be put off if he's not actively trying to find a job.

I would also say if you're looking for a partner to have children or merge finances with, he doesn't sound like a good bet purely as your attitudes to money are so different. It's going to be hard going forward with you paying for everything. Dating keep things casual and talk to him about his longer term plans.

If he seems unmotivated and not interested he may not be a good match for you long term. It is a complete recipe for disaster and I am speaking from personal experience. If he starts asking you for money you can end things. Equally he may find a job and perhaps that will change things? The sports industry has been hit hard with Covid, might that be why he has been out of work for a while?

It would depend on his attitude and ambition. If he was out when work because of the circumstances but keen to progress and trying to get back, I would be fine with it and support him. Absolutely no chance. I don't care how successful or wealthy someone is, but they have to have a job, stand on their own two feet and pay their own way in life. It's not about money, it's about self respect. Probably not. I did it once and I found that it was a pattern, in and out of jobs.

I would guage it very carefully if I see more someone new in the same situation. It became a drain. I was out a work a few years ago. Got made redundant. Didnt look to meet anyone because I don't want anyone to keep me and I'm not keeping anyone else.

I would date an unemployed man who was between jobs through no choice of his own. We would be incompatible. Just depends what your looking dating really. What does he mean he's "between gigs". I though a gig was a live-music event? Wow, it sounds like my friend's opinion is widely shared! Definitely food for thought.

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