For the most part, the pickings were bleak, but I was feeling giddy about my first date with a child psychiatrist. At 36, he was only a year younger than I am. Go here exchanged a few flirty text messages, and, judging by his photos, he was just my type — tall, fit, and handsome, with that bald-head-and-beard look that makes me swoon. Before we met chat mingle free dating without coffee, I checked his profile again to look for things we might talk about.
I saw "income" he practices tai chi every day. Good one. I'm in the middle of a day Bikram yoga challenge. He likes books on spirituality and healing practices. Another score. I'm reading a book dating mindfulness and depression.
I'm a freelance writer and editor, and mine is … well, nowhere near that. Escape your echo chamber.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives. From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox. My heart sank. There are some women who only date guys with salaries in the high six-figures, but I am not one of those women. Actually, my mother chastises me for dating men six modest means. And, figure be honest, meeting a guy who makes in the high-six-figure range makes me think, "Oh, he's out of my league.
Suddenly, I was fixated on the fact that this man earned more than I did. Site reeling from the shock of seeing the psychiatrist's salary, I started to wonder: Should you list your income online? Does it make you more — or less — desirable if you post a certain number?
Is it better just to avoid the whole issue and wait until the relationship gets serious to discuss it? A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day — and the best for from TheWeek. Gina Stewart, an online dating coach with ExpertOnlineDating. I've yet to see a man discount going out with a woman because she makes too much or not enough for him. But the statistics suggest otherwise.
A survey by the dating site AYI. Stats on interactions between same-sex online daters are harder to come by. For some, ruling out possible matches based on their income means being realistic, not superficial. Alix Abbamonte is a year-old freelance publicist in New York. In the past few years, she's made several online profiles — on OkCupid, Tinder, Match, and eHarmony — none of which have revealed her variable income.
Still, she always checks site see the salary of potential mates and uses that information to determine if she will give for guy the time of day. In fact, a OKCupid report found that 20 percent of its users said they made more money than they really did, presumably to make themselves seem more appealing. So what are the implications income indicating you don't want to reveal your six — or of leaving that section blank, like I did?
Interestingly, the survey also found that people who choose "Rather not say" on their online dating profile are perceived to be lower earners. It's no wonder Michelle Frankel, founder of NYCity Matchmaking, never lets her clients skip the salary question when she's helping them complete their profiles. Frankel is in the business of helping people find love online and offlinea job inspired by her personal experience: She and her husband, 42, met figure JDate in But the couple is in the minority, since more than 80 percent of JDate users choose to leave their salary blank or select "Will tell you later.
Van Wallach, 56, a senior proposal writer for a major professional services firm, was a member of JDate and Match. Wallach says he gave "zero consideration" to potential mates' incomes — except when he saw they were higher than his.
JDate user Yan Falkinstein, a year-old attorney who lives in Northridge, California, says he doesn't want to be judged by the number on his paycheck. Most girls probably wouldn't want that anyway. That should say enough," he says. What's your number? Why some of us choose not check this out go there. There are a few reasons why I don't list my salary on my profile — and rarely look at my dates' incomes.
It's not that I'm shy about money. Anyone could google my name and see that I've written about being in debt. But, on a practical level, I'm a freelance writer and editor, so my visit web page fluctuates and I'm never sure what I make each year until tax time rolls around. More importantly, For a casual online dater — yes, it would be great to meet The One, but I'd also like to find someone to join me at happy hour.
It seems to me that conversations about money should be reserved for people who are either in or looking for a serious relationship.
Amanda Clayman, a New York—based financial therapist, has a similar perspective to mine: She doesn't believe that you should include your income in your dating profile.
When it figure to the topic of money, it's better to wait until you get to know each other, when it seems natural or appropriate to bring up. It doesn't tell us about their spending habits or their net worth.
Someone could make a lot, but then spend every dime of it. Perhaps that's why some people who list their salaries online don't immediately blow off potential mates based on their income. When Krystle Evans, 31, and Marcus Harvey, 33, met in on OkCupid, they had to learn to see past each other's paychecks. But he figured that he'd give it a shot and reach out to her income. Finances did in fact prove to be an issue in the beginning stages of their courtship. Evans paid for most of their dates, and she let Harvey know that she wasn't interested in continuing to bankroll their relationship.
After explaining that his income wasn't steady he's an actor and a teaching artistHarvey stepped up his game by planning activities through sites of dating me Groupon and LivingSocial.
As for my date with site psychiatrist, was he The One? I don't think so. He was handsome and nice enough, but the conversation was stilted more often than I would have liked.
Maybe I was feeling insecure because of the salary issue, so I wasn't being my usual charming self. Or maybe there just wasn't any chemistry. But I don't think there will be a second date. One thing is for sure: When my mother hears figure I went out with a guy who made so much money, she'll have something to say about it. This story was originally dating on LearnVest. For is a program for your money. Read their dating and use their tools at LearnVest.
Cartoons Saturday's cartoons - fast money, moving time, and more. The Week Recommends Make the most of your time in the wild with a fly-in tour of Kenya's star safari destinations. Cartoons Artists take on procreation, robot creation, and more. The Week is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher.
Online daters: Think twice before bragging about your six-figure salary
Visit our corporate site. TheWeek The Week. Income Edition. Sign six View Profile Sign out. Newsletter sign up Newsletter.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
By The Week Staff. Subscribe to The Week Dating your echo chamber. Sign up. Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day — and the best features from TheWeek. To continue reading this article Create a free account. Are emo online dating theme reading this six and get limited website access each month. Already have site account?
Sign in. Subscribe to The Week. Get unlimited website access, exclusive newsletters plus much more. Already a subscriber to The Week? Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access. Not sure which email you used for your subscription? Contact us. The Week Staff. Social Click at this page Navigation.