Before I get into the signs of dating a pathological liar, I want to give liar some background on my own personal experiences with lying. Early in my childhood, lying became a dating that soon became a way of life. I had well-intended parents who taught me not to lie but in my little mind, there was no other choice.
As I grew up, so did my self-deception, insecurities, and ability to paint an entirely different picture than, unbeknownst to me, most people could see right through. The lying continued well into my teens and early twenties.
T he extent to which we will justify the wrong of lying in the name of emotional survival is incredible. I had to go here. Without lying, everyone would be in on the joke that I embarrassingly tried to be the only one in on…. There are a million reasons why I felt like I had no choice but to lie at such a young age. And there are a million more reasons why I continued to lie as a teenager liar young adult. A lot of them had to do with the atmosphere I grew up in.
They would shame me to others behind my back in the name of expressing concern — instead of having a genuine concern to ask me if I was okay. And dating is no lonelier place to be than the space of feeling like you have no worth. Anyone who lies habitually is on a self-made life raft that deflates very quickly until another lie is told. Having one identity liar tough enough but when you dating, you have to keep up with multiple ones.
These identities are birthed by your shame, anger, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, insecurities, and pain. The funny thing is, I lied to keep article source around when all it did was turn off the right people, onlyfans kat leaks wonders my abandonment issues, and in turn, attract toxic people who exploited the very insecurities that required me to lie on the compulsive level that I was.
How I stopped being a compulsive liar is another post for another time. I basically started to become more worried about the effects of my lies than people just knowing the truth. I realized that although people may be hurt, disgusted, happy, sad, etc.
I then started to attract better people and better relationships in my life. By taking this step to improve myself, I had simultaneously improved the relationship with myself. Over time, I started to build respect for myself. If dating engage in self-deception, you will be that much more susceptible to excuse others when they lie to you. We all lie from time to time.
10 Signs You Are In A Relationship With A Pathological Liar
According to a study at the University of Massachusetts, sixty percent of people cannot even have a minute conversation without lying at least one time. When lying gets out of control, it is referred to as compulsive.
It can also be pathological. Although the definitions are fluid, I do think that there are differences. Either way, a relationship with a pathological liar or a compulsive liar will be the worst relationship liar your life. The relationship that you have with them will be just as bad as the one they have with themselves.
A Compulsive Liar vs. A Pathological Liar
You can only get away. It is impossible to have a genuine connection, relationship, or any kind of intimacy with these people. A compulsive liar will habitually exaggerate and embellish in an effort to be seen, heard, and inflate their fragile ego.
Upon being called out, a pathological liar will reveal more unbelievable details within their obnoxious stories. And it will make you feel crazy. This is how pathological lying works. A compulsive liar lies to feel more important. A pathological liar lies as a form of manipulation to get their way while robbing you of your ability to trust. They are manipulative, clever, sheisty, crafty, and most of the time, have their own selfish agenda and a self-serving goal in mind when they lie.
Everyone liar a ladder to them. They are empathetically bankrupt and have no concern for the dating and emotional well-being of others — even their romantic partners, family, and friends. Compulsive liars are uncomfortable with the truth and will lie for what seems like no reason or end goal. Pathological liars have a selfish agenda. Both feel incredibly small and operate on their own level of insecure delusion. Unlike a compulsive liar, there are far less tell-tale signs with a pathological liar.
Pathological liars are much more fearless.
What Does It Mean To Be a Pathological Liar?
Dating lie about things you would never imagine someone could ever or would ever lie about. A pathological liar read article very theatrical stories and can be very grandiose. The more people they can get to fight over them and fight for their attention, the better. They are highly narcissistic and have sociopathic tendenciesif not full-blown sociopathy. To you, it will seem like they pedestal everyone but you. They may not seem outwardly competitive but internally, they have to win at all costs.
Your success is NOT theirs. When you win or accomplish anything, they congratulate you but passively downplay it. Because they are so insecure, everything is a competition and they can never be genuinely happy for other people.
For them, winning is a matter of emotional life and death. With a pathological liar, failure is to be avoided at all costs because it affirms the failure that deep down, they feel like they are. And when they do fail which is more often than you thinkthey never learn from it. They just point fingers. These people are cocky, not confident. There is a huge difference. And remember, cocky people do everything to appear to be the toughest, most secure, and the most desirable but they are the weakest, most insecure, inflated, and fragile.
They hate who they are. They constantly need an ego boost and will flirt with anyone or anything that gives them a morsel of attention, validation, or response. They have no problem throwing others even their own friends, co-workers, and family members seriously under the bus to keep their lies going. Although most pathological liars do believe their own lies, some dating come clean.
Recently, a pathological liar told me after admitting to some seriously disturbing liesthat she was now totally incapable of telling a lie — ever again. I would liar so much more respect for someone who admitted to lying and expressed that they know they will naturally still liar because this has been a life-long habit but they need compassion and support from loved ones to stay on track.
With a pathological liar, there is always some sort of drama, jealousy, misunderstanding, and falling out going on in their lives. If someone is going to lie about the most minuscule and dumb thing that serves no purpose, they are most likely going to lie about other things that are bigger. Give one fraction of the love to yourself that you are giving anyone who tries to control your emotional weather via lies and you will no longer miss them.
Book your one-on-one session today. Skip to content. Emotional HealthRelationships. I was never a pathological liar but I definitely used to be a compulsive liar. Without lying, everyone would be in on the joke that I embarrassingly tried to be the only one in on… The fact that I was a joke. Ultimately, no one liar me lie. I chose to. Self-respect and pathologically or compulsive lying cannot coexist. When it comes to dating or any kind of relationship, the level to which you deceive yourself will always mirror the toleration you have for others deceiving you.
A Compulsive Liar vs. A Pathological Liar A compulsive liar will habitually exaggerate and embellish in an effort to be seen, heard, and inflate their fragile ego. No matter what a pathological liar claims, they are all about themselves. They are highly competitive and have an intense fear dating failure.
Very low self-esteem. They are attention seekers. A pathological liar will lie in ways that you would never expect. They use just enough of the truth to hook you into believing them.
If they ever do admit to their lies, the pathological liar is usually still lying and creating new lies during their confession. The relationships with their friends and family are unstable. Keep your antennas up and know when to fold. Pathological liars are masters at… Distorting your reality gaslighting. They make you feel pathetic and crazy for trying to get verification liar their ever-changing stories.
Lying may start in childhood
Bottom line: you deserve more and you know it. Written by: Natasha Adamo. Share this post. About Natasha Adamo Natasha Adamo is a globally recognized self-help author, dating guru, and motivational speaker. With over 2.