How dare he! The question shocks me and nearly knocks me off my feet. This comes from a random Dutch stranger at a bar in central Amsterdam. I have been chatting with him for some time and was telling him how I met my Dutch partner and came to live here. It is my 4 th day in this beautiful country. How personal and direct!! I stutter an answer which I have now forgotten. This was my first experience of how direct the Dutch can be. In my country, I mean Tanzania and Botswana because I have roots in both people would know better than to ask such a question unless they are looking to get a severe beating obviously masochistic or have a death wish.
Also, there is a general culture of respect for women and moral values. In most African cultures women are culture as mothers of civilization which earns them a high status in society.
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Questions of a sexual nature are considered extremely disrespectful. This is sacred. It is taken as an implication that she is loose, immoral and promiscuous.
Although nowadays a woman in Africa need not be a virgin before marriage, it is still ingrained in our culture that a virtuous woman does not have many or any sexual partners or experiences. Her sexual experience big butt dating supposed to be as limited as possible and certainly not publicly discussed. In the first couple of weeks in Amsterdam, I had a tough time finding my way through the central station.
I lived in amsterdam centre of Amsterdam and could walk home from the station but somehow always managed to get lost amsterdam to my pathetic sense of direction. If only I had paid more attention in Geography class! Anyway, on one of those numerous days that I got lost, I asked a man in his mid-twenties for directions.
He kindly offered to take me to the exact place I needed to be. Out of the blue, my companion asks. Say what?! I looked at him in dumbfounded shock. What is it with these people and their fixation on sex?! I wondered. Antillean men are very good in bed.
They are very good with their tongues. I am not sure how to take this so I look away and stare at a couple of ducks in a nearby canal hoping he would take me out of my misery and end the topic. Short of an answer, I shyly smile and look away.
I was extremely relieved to finally reach my destination and say my goodbyes to this very direct and enlightened hookup. As you may have figured, he is from the Netherlands Antilles. This is my first week at my university in Amsterdam and my second week in the Netherlands. I had just begun see more a friendship with one of my schoolmates and as is culture with us women, our focus turned to a discussion about romantic relationships. I mentioned to her that I had a boyfriend with whom I was living with and loved dearly.
When I asked her amsterdam she had a boyfriend her response was simply, she is not into boys. Of course, I have no problem with homosexuality and have always advocated for hookup embraced that choice of lifestyle. I was merely shocked by the confident declaration of sexual orientation.
It was my first time to come face to face with a lesbian. In my country, homosexuality and lesbianism are criminal offences. It is also widely condemned by society. People have been persecuted for simply being themselves.
Nobody would admit to being a homosexual. But more than my acceptance and rationalization of homosexuality, the realization that I was face to face with a lesbian made me act in such an odd manner and this I cannot, even to myself, explain.
I suddenly felt the need to hookup less attractive by covering my exposed legs and making sure that the top button of my amsterdam is fastened. Perhaps I ignorantly feared that she would ask me out on a date or turn me gay. I really did not understand this unbecoming behaviour on somebody as open-minded as I have always thought myself to be.
Over time I became more comfortable and accepted that my reaction was culture a result of being confronted with an unknown situation. That was unexpected. More so, because my neighbour and I had been discussing our families a minute ago. What I have come to learn now, is that the Dutch can blurt out what is on their mind, at any given time, without fear.
My neighbour was simply curious and had finally hookup someone whom he hoped could rightly confirm, deny or clarify the issue. Well, I am sure most of you want to know my answer to this. In my opinion, it is a myth. I have personally found absolutely no major difference in size. Then again, one needs a lot of experience with both races to come up with an informed answer.
To get home from the central station I had to pass through the world famous Red Culture District. I used to avert my eyes every time I passed by an open window of someone on display. I thought they were all ashamed of what they were doing. I remember feeling sorry for the sex workers. Where I come from prostitution is highly illegal and morally reprehensible. Here it is a commonly accepted and to a large extent a controlled and regulated trade.
The sex workers pay taxes like everybody else and a lot have regular families. I remember my husband telling me that one sex worker used to frequent a bar where he worked after every working night and he would have interesting conversations with her. She was not ashamed of her profession and could more than amsterdam the necessities for herself. One may argue that prostitution is not an honourable and decent job. They may argue morality, principles and values.
The question is what does morality, principles and values have to do with it. In my opinion, this is neither here nor there. Morality, principles and values are determined by the society in which one lives. Prostitution exists all over the world but at least in an open-minded and liberal society such as in the Netherlands, it can be in the open. Although the openness and directness of the Dutch sometimes shock me, I am happy to be living among them.
Freedom of speech, expression, tolerance and liberalism are taken in high regard culture practised in the Netherlands.
Teen pregnancy is low in the Netherlands
Personally, I feel better knowing that one can approach me with whatever is on their hookup even if it is brutally honest, of a sexual nature or a taboo other than sweeping issues under the carpet, keeping them amsterdam a skeleton closet or engaging me in guessing games. All this freedom and liberalism around me took away the shackles of expressive limitations that I had. I hookup embraced and am enjoying the freedom to the full.
I have Dutch courage now even without the alcohol. You might culture like National Tulip Day Save the date: 20 November, Boom Marketing Broadway musical Pippin is coming to Amsterdam with a full American cast. Rawpixel Free domain 28 paintings by Vermeer in a museum for the first time.
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