10 simple rules for dating my daughter

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It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should dating or use an alternative browser. Thread starter llib Start date Jun 15, Jump to latest Follow Reply.

Status Not open for further replies. Sorry, still simple me up You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may sara gold to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

When it comes to sex with my daughter, I am the barrier and I will indeed kill you. Please do not do this. This is fine with me as long as it is fine with my daughter. Read article, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry. If you want to be on time for a movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose-down filled parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies that feature chainsaws are okay.

Hockey games are okay. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted, has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have exactly one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing wot matchmaking the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy on the outskirts of Hanoi. As soon as you pull into the driveway after your date, you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password, and announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and on time.

Then return to your car — there is no need to come inside.

The camouflaged face in the window is mine. More options. Zhengyi Ars Praetorian. My wife and I wanted a daughter, but got two boys instead. Sounds like you need a rocking chair next to the door with your shotgun near by. Tornadus Daughter Scholae Palatinae.

I thought you shot the first boy and mounted his head above the front door as a warning to the others? Solid-Acid Ars Centurion. Get a clue. She's probably already participated in three or four 'rainbow parties' and is sexting two other guys as you were typing up these rather unfunny and overused 'rules'.

His exact words, "I've been waiting 17 years for this moment! Hey pops, remember all those times when you were young and single and a girl was really into you and wanted your help creating some new VR material, and you turned her down because her father was a scary rules jenny69 onlyfans with a fondness for showing off his gun collection?

Wonder why that is Red 6 Ars Praefectus. Oh come on those are funny, get the stick out your rectal cavity, relax and laugh once in a while.

GuggimusPrime Ars Tribunus Militum. I might be an old man, but rule 3 seems to be out of date. Baggy jeans and sagging was cool when I was in, it was also comfortable. I pray I never have a daughter.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Thinking back on my experiences and my friend's stories Rule four sounds kinda kinky. And illegal. Why would you want your daughter's date to have you have sex with your daughter? Thread Ars Scholae Palatinae.

Mojo-jojo Ars Legatus Legionis. When you have a boy, you have to worry about one penis. If I ever have a daughter I will daughter to start a gun collection. I can show the boy them while he is waiting for her to put on her make up. Vince-RA Ars Praefectus. Digitali Read article Legatus Legionis. I agree with that. I'm not looking to 'hit it' as there are other tramps for that and I actually like your daughter.

Chicks can be assholes, too.

Anyway, she might be crying because I refused to give her the dick as a manifestation of my respect for you. Enjoy your little girl until then. Then buy daughter in Remington, Benelli and Mossberg and support whichever is your favorite of the three.

I know if I anri okita onlyfans leaked a girl she'd have me wrapped around her little finger and when she entered that age I'd be overbearing. It's a personality fault I know I have and I'm glad I don't have to face it.

Time for an OldDude anecdote. Just to be involved for his activities, I also took the course. I learned that with a bit of practice, it is pretty easy to take a 1x12 board about a foot long, toss it into the air, and with a well placed knife hand, break it in mid air. I decided it was a great time to demonstrate my karate "expertise". If she's not back by I'm in the car, locked, loaded and hunting your motherfucking ass down.

Because I trust her, and believe I did my job right as a parent, I'm not simple to play any stupid see more games with you. Funny how all the "old men" invariably want to bank on firearms as their means of intimidation, rather than being able to administer a beatdown barehanded, say via dating form of martial rules. Afraid of pulling something? The guy might be a big linebacker football type and I know my limits. Drew J Well-known member.

The only time I've ever been given shit by the father of a girl I for picking up was my senior year of high school. I am from bumfuck Egypt as we say around herea little town in the middle of nowhere Alabama. The piece of shit boyfriend, who is known locally for being a horse's ass, proceeds to show me simple gun collection, then tells me a story about prison and how he isn't afraid of going back, and then goes on about some other bullshit obviously intended to stop me from getting hot and bothered with his girlfriend's daughter not that it worked, she ended up being my first.

What a douche bag. Also, I was later told, by my girlfriend, that he sometimes hit her and her mom, on a semi regular basis. She the daughter, my then-girlfriend also has a gay brother who lived with them, and the boyfriend gave him tons of shit for his presumed femininity. BenN Ars Legatus Legionis. This thread is useless without pics.